Apa Yang Kita Harapkan dari Politik??

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Beberapa waktu lalu seorang kawan di Banyuwangi meninggalkan pesan di YM yang isinya mengajak untuk ngobrol bareng. Perbedaan waktu yang cukup jauh antara Hawaii dan Indonesia sering sekali menjadikan kami tidak selalu bertemu dalam waktu yang berbarengan. Pada waktu dan hari yang sudah kita sepakati bersama, akhirnya aku bisa ngobrol dengan dia via chatting di YM.
Dia bercerita kalau saat ini sedang sibuk menyiapkan diri untuk maju ke kursi legislative di daerah Banyuwangi. Ada dua hal yang tiba-tiba saya rasakan. Pertama, tentu saya senang dan sangat mendukung langkahnya. Siapapun orangnya yang mau maju menjadi “buruh” rakyat tentu harus didukung, dan ini adalah tugas mulia. Tapi disisi lain sikap skeptic yang saya miliki pada politik juga muncul. Entah sudah berapa lama saya sangat meragukan dunia politik, walupun di ranah lain saya percaya bila politik juga merupakan jalan untuk memperbaiki kondisi masyarakat.
Sebagai teman, tentunya saya harus menunjukkan kalau saya dibelakang dia. Mulailah obrolan mengarah pada peta politik di Banyuwangi dan persiapan apa saja yang sudah dia lakukan untuk merebut kursi panas di DPRD. Harapan bahwa dia akan memberikan jawaban yang bisa memuaskan nafsu keingintahuan saya pada politik dan alih-alih mampu menghapus rasa ketidakpercayaan saya pada politik ternyata langsung menguap begitu saja. Saya sempat bertanya hal yang paling mendasar tentang berapa presentasi jumlah pemilih pemula dan pemilih lama di dapil dia. Dia hanya simple menjawab “emang itu penting ya?.” Saya masih berusaha mengejarnya dengan sebuah pertanyaan menukik, “Bagaimana kamu akan bisa menentukan program apa yang paling tepat bagi masyarakat di wilayahmu bila presentasi pemilihnya saja kamu tidak tahu.” Dia bilang kalau itu semua tidak penting, karena posisi dia yang berapa diurutan kepala sudah bisa menjadi jaminan untuk bisa melenggang ke gedung DPRD. Dalam artian menurut dia program bukan sesuatu yang signifikan. “Pokoknya sekarang yang aku butuhkan adalah uang untuk kampanye,” ujarnya mantap.
Pengen berontak dengan pernyataan dia yang asal-asalan, tapi saya berusaha melihat dari sisi lain. Saya yakin fenomena caleg seperti ini banyak jumlahnya, bahkan bisa jadi mayoritas. Mereka beranggapan bahwa semuanya bisa diselesiakn dengan uang. Maka tidaklah heran bila banyak wajah-wajah baru yang belum punya andil apapun di masyarakat tiba-tiba berubah menjadi seperti malaikat yang menebarkan uang. Ini mengingatkan saya pada ucapan seorang warga miskin dipedalaman Vietnam yang dikutip dalam sebuah buku. Petani tersebut bilang kalau dia berharap setiap hari adalah pemilu, hingga dia bisa tiap hari mendapat sumbangan sembako dan juga uang.
Di lain waktu, seorang kawan sewaktu kuliah S1 di UIN Sunan Kalijaga, Jogjakarta mengirimkan stikel dan foto baliho dirinya. Untuk pemilihan 2009 ini dia akan menempati nomor urut 3 untuk maju DPRD Magelang, Jawa Tengah. Dia menceritakan betapa motif untuk maju menjadi caleg ternyata sangat beragam. Saya sempat terpingkal-pingkal ketika dia bilang kalau ada seorang caleg yang sudah cukup merasa bangga ketika di pintu rumah tetangganya terpasang foto dirinya dan disandingkan dengan Megawati. Dan untuk kasus caleg dari Partai Demokrat, mereka sudah puas melihat fotonya disejajarkan dengan foto Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (SBY). Bahkan air mata saya sampai keluar karena ketawa mengetahui bila ada seorang caleg yang pengusaha percetakan dan sablon memaksakan diri maju menjadi seorang kandidat DPRD –walaupun dia dapat nomor sepatu- agar dia bisa kenal dengan caleg-caleg lain dengan harapan para caleg yang dia kenal mau memesan stikel, kaos, ataupun aksesori kampanye lainnya ke dia. Jadi bagi mereka bukan kemenangan yang diincar. Entahlah pemilu macam apa ini, kok sepertinya menjadi sebuah dagelan murahan.
Keraguan saya yang sebelumnya sudah ada semakin tumbuh subur dengan cerita kawan-kawan saya tersebut. Tapi di lain hal saya tidak bisa menyembunyikan sebuah pertanyaan besar dalam diri saya tentang bagaimana masyarakat Indonesia, Banyuwangi khususnya, akan bisa memilih para calon wakil mereka dengan tepat. Tidak bisa dipungkiri kalau kenyataan yang ada “mereka-mereka” lah yang sekarang sedang bertarung untuk menuju gedung parlement, jadi mau tidak mau masyarakat Banyuwangi harus memilih mereka. Memang ada pilihan lain untuk tidak memilih, alias golput, tapi bagi saya itu adalah tindakan orang-orang pecundang, karena mereka tidak mau memilih tapi akan menjadi orang terdepan untuk memprotes bila ada kesalahan yang dilakukan parlement. Bagi saya lebih berwibawa bila kita tetep menggunakan hak suara kita dengan memilih caleg yang “terbaik” dari yang ada, dan tentunya tetap mengkritis mereka ketika terjadi penyimpangan saat sudah menjabat.
Kenyataan di lapangan masyarakat tidak mendapatkan pembelajaran politik. Lembaga-lembaga yang seharusnya berperan penting untuk political education sering kali malah menjadikan powernya untuk memperoleh dukungan dari masyarakat pada calon-calon yang sudah memiliki deal dengan mereka. Yang dibutuhkan oleh rakyat sekarang ini bukan hanya selembar nomor dan foto caleg yang bisa secara sembunyi-sembunyi di bawa masuk ke bilik TPS dan kemudian dipilihnya di lembar pemilihan, tapi rakyat harus diajari untuk memilih calon yang benar. Tidak penting siapa yang nantinya menjadi pilihan rakyat, sejauh rakyat memilihnya dengan pertimbangan yang matang dan tahu track record dari calon yang dipilih, itu sudah menjadi pembelajaran politik yang luar biasa.
Sebagai orang yang saat ini tinggal jauh dari Banyuwangi, saya pribadi tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa untuk mengambil fungsi sebagai political educator, disamping secara kemampuan saya tidak memiliki pengalaman di politik. Namun bagaimanapun juga, tanpa mengesampingkan kecerdasan masyarakat, saya merasa kalau tetap harus bertindak walaupun sangat kecil. Paling tidak kita harus melangkah.
Ketika bergabung dalam forum lare osing ini, yang menurut pengamatan saya kebanyakan member aktifnya tinggal di luar Banyuwangi, saya jadi tergerak untuk membuat sebuah langkah bersama untuk menyikapi pemilu ini. Selama ini banyak orang beranggapan kalau para putra Banyuwangi yang di luar kurang perduli dengan daerahnya, mungkin dengan sebuah langkah bersama ini kita bisa menunjukkan kalau kita tetap menjadi bagian untuk membangun Banyuwangi. Di satu sisi forum ini memiliki kekuatan yang lebih, karena independent. Kita tidak berafilisi dengan partai politik dan organisasi manapun, dan kita juga bukan Lembaga Pemberdayaan Masyarakat (LSM). Jadi suara kita memang murni aspirasi bersama, tidak mewakili atau pesanan dari siapapun.
Yang keluar dari pikiran saya sekarang ini adalah membuat PETISI BERSAMA, yang isinya bahwa forum lare oseng ini mendukung pemilihan caleg yang bersih dan mumpuni. Tentu harus banyak criteria yang perlu disepakati, semisal caleg yang tidak memakai money politik, memiliki track record yang baik dalam aktivitas kemasyarakat, berpihak pada rakyat, punya program yang jelas dan sebagainya. Bila langkah tersebut diteruskan, dari petisi ini kita bisa menekan partai politik untuk menandatanganinya, hingga nantinya ketika mereka sudah menjabat kita bisa memakainya untuk menagih janji-janji mereka.
Bagaimana kawan????

Is Decentralization A Good Way?

Last week a friend of mine contacted me through yahoo messenger, he told me that he will run for the local parliament of Banyuangi region next year. Actually, he asked me to support and take part in his fund raising management. He explained that he has so far been doing little to boost his political effort while he is now still trying to accumulate and hoard the money. When asked about his political visions and programs, it seemed that he has unclear answer. He said, “Programs are less necessary than money. If I have money, I can do everything. People also never care about the program. You know, I am listed on the top rank among my party parliament candidates, so it guarantees me to be elected.” His social position, moreover, as a son of a religious leader gives him much chance to be elected. His family’s charisma and fame are good investment in getting voters. Therefore, money and the family status are the keys for him to get vote even though his family name is only known in his local area.

From it, I can figure out that the money has more power to get votes rather than the program, and it is exactly similar with what Daniel Arghiros (2001) addresses about the election in one rural area in Thailand. Money can buy votes, because the economic conditions of villagers forced them to receive the money, so it was understood when one Thai said that she wishes that everyday to be Election Day. It also indicates that money politics, in Indonesia for example, is still used by politicians although the political system has been changing from the centralized system of politics to decentralized one. If we analyze from different way, the case of money politics was actually exemplified by those who hold central administration in Jakarta. It means that decentralization also opens opportunities for local power to do same thing as central power do such as corruption.

From my friend’s background that he is from the religious leader’s family, it can be seen that decentralization also brings the opportunity to local leaders to be active in the politics. Aspinal and Fealy (2003) examine that decentralization already transmuted from the military to the civil power. After Suharto’s fall and the decentralization was applied, the number of governors or bupatis from military significantly decreased.

However, Hadiz (2004) also points out that the old elites still dominate in the local governments. So, the elites from the central administration in Jakarta come down to regional regions in order to take over the local government. For instance, in the East Java governor election, from five pairs of candidates, all are from old elites and they already existed in the central government such as Khofifah Indar Parawansa and Sukarwo.

Hutchcroft (2001) states that decentralization might be a good way of democracy, particularly in administration. Haryanto and Hadiz (2005) also discusses that decentralization integrates with the democracy even though it is unsuccessful since the elites in the local became new kings. Additionally, Dawn Brancati (2006) highlights that ethnic conflict and secessionism cannot be avoided by only decentralization. In fact, in Indonesian’s case, every local election such in provinces or districts leave the conflict among the followers of candidates. The masses of people are often used to influence the process of election.
Decentralization just spreads out the power from the central, in this case in Jakarta, to the local elites. As a result, decentralization does not answer the “main” agenda of democracy. The centralization in the past devolved the authoritarians to the local government. Thus, the local elites seems to have no political maturation yet.

Forest and My Villagers

Today in my class Political Science 780, we discussed about the political ecology and gender. And the leaders in that discussion were Andrea and I.

This is very an interesting topic. We started the discussion with analyze the Nancy Peluso's book, Rich forests, Poor People, and a chapter from A. Dale Shields (and team), Developing and Dismantling Social Capital: Gender and Resources Management in the Philippine . Those authors did a great job even though almost half of my classmates thought that Shields et,al, are less academic.

We began the themes of the problem of forests in Indonesia. I shared my own experiences to be a villager who lives not far from the teak forest in Indonesia. I attempted to explore the changing condition of my villagers before and after 1997 where the crisis of economy has been attacking Indonesia. Indeed, only rattans and firewood that we took as forest products before New Regime Era fell. Thus, it was quite hard to find the villagers' houses, which used teak to be interior. However, the condition was hundred percent different when villagers were getting influences of monetary crisis. The Blokagung peasants, which is the name of my village, and the peasants from outside Blokagung began to cut the teaks and sold them. They really did not care about the environmental effect of what they did. Personally, I could accept it since they have to feed their family, and they have to keep their children in the schools.

In early months, selling teak was not a big deal. They just brought the teak by bikes to outside forest. If we wanted to buy it, we just waited in our house in the late afternoon. When they passed our house, we could negotiate the price in the street and the teak would belong to us if we could deal the price. This process was just like to buy "krupuk" in Indonesia. As a result, all the houses in my village are using teak even for the floor. It was funny when I asked my dad "where did you buy the teak,? and he said, "I brought for thief. I wanted to help him just it."

Nevertheless, after a few months, the police began to capture the thief and the person who collected the teak. Well, actually the religious leader that had power and charisma in the village already attempted to take the role. He often gave advice for the villagers to stop stealing the teak. However, the religious schools could not do anything when the villagers argued him and gave the proof that actually the police was the boss of the thief.

Basically, I want to add the questions of this case. Who actually is considered to be thief? In fact, villagers live for long time in the forest, and they also maintain the forest, so why the state controls the land, the species, and also the forest labor?. Is it because in our UUD there is the article that says, "all water, land, and air belong to the state? In other hand, permission to explore the forests is given to the international corporations or to the big entrepreneurs by the state. With forest concession or Hak Pengusaha Hutan (HPH), they could receive the benefit from the forest. In reality, HPH left many problems in not only the environmental destruction but also the conflict with the local people. It is stupid.

If politic and money are only ways to talk with other, how can the poor peasants gain their rights? Negotiation, in my view, is not really working because it is not running if two groups do not have same level and cann't seat in the same table. As we can see, it never happens in Indonesia.

So, where are my communities going to go?? How are the ways for my communities to survive their live? SO let come back to the village, and give them that they have to get.

Kenapa Harus Pesantren

Sudah menjadi wacana yang mengglobal bila salah satu factor dari termarginalnya perempuan adalah ekonomi. Perempuan dalam tradisi patriarkhi hanya memiliki tanggung jawab sebagai housewife yang tugasnya melakukan housework dan menjadi pelayan bagi suami dan anak-anaknya.

Posisi ini tidak memberi kesempatan bagi perempuan untuk bekerja di luar. Kalaupun sekarang banyak perempuan yang kerja di luar, lebih pada factor ekonomi keluarga, bukan berlandaskan kesadaran mendalam akan usaha memberikan hak perempuan untuk berkembang.

Ketidak mampuan perempuan dalam ekonomi ini menjadikan perempuan sangat tergantung pada orang lain, hingga dia tidak mempunyai bargain kuat dalam lingkungannya. Bahkan terkadang untuk merawat alat reproduksinya yang nota bene merupakan bagian terpenting, mereka tidak bisa memutuskan sendiri, karena mereka tidak memiliki income.

Mengaca dengan hal ini, tentu usaha penguatan ekonomi perempuan menjadi hal yang tidak bisa ditawar lagi. Dengan uang yang dihasilkan sendiri, perempuan bisa memutuskan hal-hal penting menyangkut dirinya dan orang-orang terdekatnya, tidak perlu tergantung pada orang lain lagi. Namun bukan berarti hendak mengatakan kalau orang lain tidak dibutuhkan dalam kehidupan perempuan.

Yang menjadi pertanyaan selanjutnya yakni kenapa pesantren manjadi penting dalam usaha gerakan penguatan perekonomian perempuan?. Mungkin pertanyaan tersebut terlalu usang untuk diajukan kembali, tapi keusangannya tidak serta merta mereduse pentingnya untuk mendiskusikannya.

Banyak pendapat yang diungkapkan tentang pentingnya pesantren dalam hal ini. Pertama, pesantren adalah bagian esensial bagi masyarakat termasuk perempuan. Mereka selalu meletakkan pesantren sebagai panutan yang harus diikuti. Posisi pesantren ini tentu sangat menguntungkan bila digunakan sebagai upaya penyadaran akan pentingnya penguatan ekonomi bagi perempuan.

Posisi pesantren yang menempel erat dengan perempuan di lini terbawah juga menawarkan kemudahan untuk pengorganisasian, seperti ketika pembekalan ketrampilan dan pengontrolan kegiatan yang sedang dijalankan.

Hal lain yaitu kedekatan antara pesantren dengan perempuan sekitar tidak yang bisa dimiliki oleh lembaga lain. Hubungan ini bisa menjadi guarantee kerjasama yang berlandaskan kepercayaan yang kuat. Sebagai ilustrasi, bila lembaga donator mengucurkan pinjaman modal bagi perempuan untuk membangun bisnisnya, dapat dipastikan pinjaman tersebut tidak akan macet. Power pesantren dan juga charisma leader pesantren menjadi dorongan kuat bagi perempuan sekitar pesantren untuk mematuhi persyaratan yang ada.

Keunggulan pesantren dalam penguatan perekonomian perempuan ini masih diikuti pula oleh berbagai masalah. Persoalan tersebut antara lain yakni pesantren yang punya orientasi gender equality sedikit sekali, hingga mereka tidak pernah berpikir untuk berusaha memberdayakan ekonomi perempuan dengan kekuatan dan modal yang mereka miliki. Disamping itu praktik-praktik tidak fair juga sering mewarnai cerita berjalannya kredit-kredit yang disalurkan lewat pesantren.

Belum banyaknya lembaga donator yang merasa penting meletakkan pesantren sebagai mitra dalam usaha pengentasan perempuan dari kemiskinan, juga menjadi persoalan. Belum lagi masih sedikitnya lembaga donator yang memiliki perspective sadar gender.
Dengan mencermati kelebihan dan kekurangan yang dimiliki pesantren dalam wacana penguatan ekonomi perempuan, tentu ini menjadi pekerjaan rumah bagi stakeholder yang bergiat dalam bidang ini. Bergandeng tangan dengan banyak pihak adalah jalan terbaik untuk mewujudkan perempuan yang mandiri dan kuat.

Published in Jawa Pos, Oct 2006

Hinduism and Menstrual Taboos

Menstruation is a complex phenomenon not a simple thing in women’s life since it is related to many areas such as biology, psychology, society, and religion. Menstruation is also surrounded by many myths, while menstruation is an indication that a woman’s reproduction system is healthy, in religious doctrines, it is interpreted differently.

Menstruation receives attention in society because it is linked to blood. Blood in society is often associated emotionally with death, homicide, and kinship (Grahn, 1993, p. xvii). Blood is often also assumed to be unclean. According to Mary Douglas (1966), uncleanness for primitive people is connected to sacredness. Due to this, menstrual blood is seen as a curse. This perception regarding menstruation brings out the taboos of menstruation. Lynn Holden (2001) explained that the term “taboos” was commonly used in Polynesian and Melanesian languages. In these languages, the essential meaning of taboo is “off limits,” but each culture has its own perspective of what it is “off limit” (Holden, 2001, p. 5).

According to Nasaruddin Umar (1995), in the past, Jewish men kept away from Jewish women during their menstruation cycle since menstruating women were considered unclean and could bring disaster to those they came into contact with. Therefore, menstrual huts were created for seclusion during the bleeding period (Grahn, 1993, p. 16). Later instead of the huts, women wore hoods or veils in order to protect people from their evil eye (Grahn, 1993, p. 74). The tradition of wearing veil a further developed other traditions such as eye shadow, necklace, earrings, and cosmetic. These menstrual customs served the purpose of warning others that women were menstruating, and they were to be avoided (Grahn, 1993, p. 75).

Misleading interpretation on the Koran verses by some Islamic scholars occurred in the classical period. The Koran, only stipulates one prohibition for menstruating women, which is abstinent from sexual activity. However many male Koran interpreters extended this concept to state that menstruating women had to stay away from their male family members. Some Islamic male scholars state that the hadits (Prophet Muhammad’s utterance and deed), prohibit menstruating women from touching and reading the Koran, and entering a mosque (Wafiroh, 2004, p. 177). However, the fact that all hadits need to be interpreted together and not independently, some of the hadits regarding menstrual taboos are weak (Wafiroh, 2004, p 178-200).

Aristotle argued that the bestower of the soul of the embryo is the man because the soul comes from men. Blood from menstruation only provides nutrition for the embryo, thus women were seen as having blemishes (Anees, 1992, p. 78).

Menstrual taboos also exist in Hinduism. The U.S. International Religious Freedom Department (2006) reports that the current population of Hindus in the world is about 14 percent (Wikipedia, 2006). Hinduism is one of the earliest religions in the world, traced back till 1500 BCE. Hinduism does not have a founder nor a single sacred text, but there are many texts that include its revelation (Anderson, 2004, p. 1). The Vedas is the most basic text in Hinduism, containing hymns and prayers which are recited during rituals (Young (ed.), 1993, p. 265).

The patriarchal culture in Hindu society still prevails, with continuing discrimination against menstruating women. During the menstruation period, women are considered to belong to the lowest caste, Sudra (untouchable), thus prohibited from worshiping (Denton, 2004). Menstrual taboos in Hinduism affect women in many ways, varying according to caste.

This paper discusses the practice of menstrual taboos in Hinduism, with examples from experiences of Hindu women in Nepal, India and Indonesia. These countries, according to US State Department’s International Religious Freedom Report (2006) have the three largest Hindu populations in the world. The menstrual taboos that will be discussed focus on the 20th century, focusing on the Brahmana, Ksatria and Sudra castes. This paper will analyze menstrual taboos in Hinduism from a feminist perspective.

The Practice of Menstrual Taboos in Hinduism

Menstruation cannot be separated from taboo. Tapua, the root of the word “taboo” in Polynesian has two meanings, sacred and menstruation (Grahn, 1993, p. 5). Grahn states, “Besides sacred, taboo also means forbidden, valuable, wonderful, magic, terrible, frightening, and immutable law” (p. 5). Taboo sometimes has the same meaning as law (Holden, 2001, p.4). However, taboo does not result in formal punishment if it is broken. It differs from a law in that there is no certain penalty. People believe that a taboo must be followed; otherwise it will result in harm, not only for the person who breaks the taboo, but also for the community. According to belief, breaking a taboo also affects the environment. For example, in some areas, menstruating women are prohibited from stepping out of the house or walking in a field because if it is done, the field will not be fruitful (Grahn, 1993, p. 35).

On one hand, menstrual blood is seen as polluting and dirty (Puri & Kapoor, 2006), while on the other it is seen as powerful Grahn (1993). Menstruation taboos serve many functions and according to Lynn Holden (2001), keeping the prevailing status quo of inequality is the essence of the taboo’s function. Religion has been used to maintain this status quo (Holden, 2001, p. 6-7).

The law of Manu states that a Brahman, while eating, should not look at a menstruating woman (Meyer, 2005, p. 127). The Vŗddhahārt-smŗti states that a wife had to be burned alive if on her husband’s death, she was menstruating (Meyer, 2005, p. 127).

In Tamil Nadu and Kerala in southern India, menstruation is one of ananku. Dianne E Jenett (2005) explains Ananku as “ is a word used to describe the powers associated with women’s sexuality and women’s blood which were consistent with, and equivalent to, the divine power in gods, goddesses, forces of nature, animals, warriors and kings” (p. 177). One goddess (Shakta) in Kerala, is associated with menstruation. The physical earth and menstruation are parts of the goddess’s body (Janett, 2005). Menstruation can open shakti, which Jenett (2005) explains as the, “surfeit of a capacity or ability to do something” (p. 183). According to Jenett that was cited from Grahn,

The onset of menstruation brings to a woman’s body an openness to shakti, life energy that is comprehended as intentional (therefore deity), and perhaps earlier named as ananku, powerful allure in vulva and breast that can also be harmful if it is not controlled. This power when contained creates an orderly, functional, and joyous world; or when it is out of control it can be burn the house down (p. 184).
In Kerala not all the power of shakti can be accepted, thus the unwanted power of shakti has to be controlled. Indeed, menstruating women must also be under control, and menstrual taboos are the way of keeping the shakti.

Serenity Young (1993) in An Anthology of Sacred Texts by and about Women asserted that since Hindu women during menstruation might pollute others who come into contact with them, they had to wear only one garment. There is a text in Taittiriyasamhita regarding women’s menstrual periods that states “Therefore, one should not converse with (a woman) with stained garments, nor should one sit with her or eat her food when she has emitted the color of Brahmahatya” (Smith, 1991, p.23). The Taittiriyasamhita tells the story of Indra. He killed Visvarupa who was a Brahmin (brahmahatya). As a result, Indra had a stain of murdering, and one third of the stain was conveyed to women (Smith, 1991, p. 23).

A Nepalese interviewee, Mandira Neupane, belonging to the Brahmana caste, said that she had to live with her grandmother during her first menstruation until a few days after menstruation. From her grandmother, she was taught that she could not touch her male relatives for about thirteen days. After marriage, she has to sleep separately from her husband during menstruation, and cannot touch him. Her female relatives explained the reasons why menstruating women needed to have no contact with males. She said, “I have to do that because I am unclean, I might be polluting them if I touch them.” Based on the doctrine from her family, Neupane believes that a menstruating woman is unclean and polluting.

Like Neupane, Shilpa Nagar who belongs to the Brahmana caste was not able to touch anything or anyone, particularly male relatives during the first three days of menstruation. However Nagar did not have to live separately from her family. Neha Chaturvedi who belongs to the Brahmana caste and Mamta Panwar, who belongs to the on Ksatria caste, believe that food goes bad if a menstruating woman touches it. It means that the power of a menstruating woman is considered strong enough to spoil the food. Otherwise, my interviewees from Indonesia, Dewa Ayu Eka Agustini who belongs to the Ksatria caste and Putu Sutiyati from the Sudra caste, are unaware of these taboos.

To protect others from perceived contamination, Hindu menstruating women have to use separate utensils for eating and drinking. They must also wash their clothing themselves. Chaturvedi, Nagar and Neupane state that their families have been practicing this taboo.

Cooking was prohibited for almost all Hindu women in India and Nepal during menstruation. However, Panwar, from Ksatria caste in India, did not refer to this taboo. Like Panwar, Agustini and Sutiyati can also cook during menstruation. According to Chaturvedi, after washing her head on the third day, a menstruating woman can enter the kitchen and start cooking. Regarding prohibition on cooking, Chaturvedi puts forward an argument based on her analysis. She said,

These menstrual taboos have their roots in hygiene. I was told that in older times, women did not have sanitary napkins and used a cotton cloth which they would use again and again. Thus, they were not allowed to enter the kitchen because they were not considered clean and hygienic enough to cook for the other members of the family. Nowadays, in some families, as in Panwar’s family, this taboo still exists though recently women do not worry about hygiene. Thus, hygiene is not the only reason surrounding this taboo but rather, it is maintained to keep an unequal status quo between men and women.

Neupane said that during seclusion at her grandmother’s house, she was not allowed to go outside during the day. Chaturvedi also had to follow the same taboo. Neupane followed this rule although she did not know what the connection between menstruation and sunlight was. She believes that the elder generation was knowledgeable on the appropriate behavior for menstruating women.

Chaturvedi, was not allowed to serve herself water when menstruating. If she needed water, she had to ask somebody to get it for her. Chaturvedi and Neupane had to sleep on a bare bed without any mattress or bed sheet. This is parallel to what is written in the book of Vyāsa. In this book, menstruating women only can lie on the ground, eat once at night, and they are not able to speak or move (Meyer, 2005, p. 127). Grahn (1993) also argued, “Menstrual seclusion rites as recorded over the last few centuries typically include three basic taboos: the menstruating women must not see light, she must not touch water, and she must not touch earth” (p. 11).

There are many other taboos. According to Kapoor and Puri (2006), in some areas in India, attending to a visitor is banned for menstruating women. Some Hindu women are not permitted to wear new clothes or look at themselves in a mirror. Sutiyanti also mentioned that during menstruation she is not able to go to house of a Pedande (priest). Hindu women in rural areas face more restrictive practices than Hindu women in urban areas (Kapoor & Puri, 2006).

The main taboo for Hindu women during menstruating is that they cannot worship. All interviewees agreed that the essential taboo for menstruating women is not being able to do pooja (prayer). Agustini from Indonesia asserted that during menstruation women are considered to be in an impure state. The rational of this taboo, in Panwar’s opinion, is that menstruating women are passing out the dirty blood from their body, so they avoid going to the temple during menstruation. Agustini said, “Most women will feel guilty when they have to prepare offerings for certain ceremonial events.” Everything that is connecting with the temple is prohibited for menstruating women. Even though all interviewees are currently living in the United States, they still keep this taboo. Chaturvedi explained that after seven days of menstruation, she can wash her hair, and worship. The prohibition on worshiping in Sutiyanti’s culture is no longer than three days. According to Sutiyanti’s husband, I Nyoman Sumandhi, the number of days is unquestionable because this decision is based on the scriptures.

Breaking these taboos result in many consequences. Agustini stated that she believes that there is a sanction for not following rules when menstruating, though she never witnesses it. She expects all Balinese Hindu women to know what the restrictions are. Should a woman break a taboo, she and her family along with the community must hold a ceremony that is intended to bring purity and balance to her surroundings. Unlike Agustini, Neupane also follows these taboos because she believes in the knowledge of the older generation. Due to this, she has never tried to break these taboos, particularly in relation to temple attendance.

Although the interviewees obey these menstrual taboos, some of them think that these menstrual taboos are unwise. Nagar said, “Actually for me, I do not like to adhere to these menstrual taboos, but I do not have the power to refuse.” At the same time, Chaturvedi argues that these menstrual taboos are illogical. She describes that she feels guilty when she cannot go to the temple. Menstrual taboos have implications for Hindu women.

The Implications of Menstrual Taboos for Hindu Women

There are many menstrual taboos in Hinduism. The main taboo is that menstruating women are prohibited from attending temples. Menstruating women also cannot cook and serve themselves water. Other taboos include not being able to step outside the house. To avoid polluting, menstruating women are not able to touching anyone and anything. Sleeping on the ground also is also one of the menstrual taboos for Hindu women.

Basically, menstrual taboos are implemented to maintain inequality and preserve male dominance. Scheaf (1992) explains, “A number of techniques are used to make women back off from their own perceptions” (p. 73). Menstrual taboos, in fact, are purposed to keep women under a male system of dominance. Feeling guilty is the main stopper for women (Schaef, 1992, p. 74). When women feel guilty, they do not have power. As a result, women are under male control.

Menstrual blood is connected with the idea of pollution. According to Douglas (1966), the idea of pollution in social life has two levels. Douglas said, “At the first level, the more obvious one, we find people trying to influence one another’s behavior” (p. 3). The second level is that the articulation of social order can be viewed in terms of pollution (Douglas, 1966, p. 4). Douglas gave an example of the second level. One sex is believed to be more dangerous than the other sex (p.4). In this case, menstruating women are assumed to be a danger to others. However menstrual taboos, which are associated with pollution, are only a symbol of the present social order. In this case, the social order is still based on a patriarchal order.

Lynn Teskey Denton (2004) in her book, Female Ascetics in Hinduism, stated that menstruation is an indication that women are impure and sinful, so they have no ordinary inclination to dharma (prayer). This forbiddance has major effects for women. First, since a menstruating woman is banned to do dharma, she is associated to the lowest caste, Sudra. In Hinduism, people from the Sudra caste are not able to do dharma. This situation avoids women’s right in asceticism (Denton, 2004, p. 25). However, according to Sutiyanti, in Bali Indonesia, people from the Sudra caste are able to worship and share temples with other castes. This indicates that Hinduism in different countries results in different rules.

Second, without dharma, a menstruating woman is always dependent on others because she has to always be remained her duties. In this case, her male relatives have authority to be remainders (Denton, 2004, p.25-26). Thus, women can never be independent as they are always under the power of others. The prohibition on cooking and taking water is created so that menstruating women must always depend on others. Third, a woman in amantravat (without mantra) cannot be allowed to conduct religious duties (Denton, 2004, p. 26).

The implications of amantravat place women in a weak position. If a woman does not take part in the religious event, she is assumed to be less pious or spiritual, and not have any bargaining position in society. According to Chaturvedi, because of menstruation, women cannot become priests. She said, “Could you image a priest menstruating during worship?” Similar to Chaturvedi, some Islamic male scholars also believe that no women can became a prophet because women need to stop worshiping when they are menstruating. This perception is based on one hadits that women are less religious because they cannot worship all the time. Even though this hadits is debatable in terms of quality and originality, some Islamic male scholars often recite this hadits.

Schaef (1992) argued that there is a basic hierarchical structure in our culture: God, men, women, children, animal, and earth. God is the upper hierarchy. Men are under God, and women, children, animal, and earth are under the control of men (p. 170). One always tries to switch to the upper rank. For instance, men want to be like God, and women want to be like men (Schaef, 1992, p. 171). Because women are one rank beneath men, women are not able to avoid menstrual taboos. At the same time, men perform like God, so they want to maintain control over everything, including menstruating women.

The control of a menstruating woman goes beyond the body and also extends to the social sphere. If a menstruating woman is unable to leave the house, she will not be able to join in social activities. It is through social activities that women gain many things, such as knowledge. Thus, if a woman is less activity socially, she may lose her chance to develop her ability in society.

In short, menstrual taboos are designed to maintain a patriarchal society, keeping women subordinated. Menstrual taboos support male domination. Indeed, menstrual taboos in Hinduism have many implications for women, not only physically but also psychologically. Socially, menstrual taboos are used to eliminate the opportunity for women to take place in social activities.

Conclusion

One function of taboos is to maintain the prevailing unequal balance of power between men and women. Religion is often used to maintain this imbalance, such as in Hinduism. Menstrual taboos also symbolize a social order that women are under male control.

Menstrual taboos in Hinduism exist in castes: Brahmana, Ksatria, and Sudra. However, based on the interviews, women from upper castes are more restricted. For instance, the number of menstrual taboos for women in the Brahmana caste is more complicated than for women in the Sudra caste. The main menstrual taboo prevalent in all castes and countries is the prohibition on attending a place of worship and preparing religious rituals.

Menstrual taboos in Hinduism have implications for women. The effects of menstrual taboos are not only physical but also psychological. Due to menstrual taboos, the chances for women to be active socially are limited since menstruating women in Hinduism are not able to work outside the home during the menstrual period. Overall, menstrual taboos put women in a second position to of men.

 

WOMEN’S REALITY IN THE DOMINANT MALE SYSTEM

Anne Wilson Schaef, the author of the book Women’s Reality: an Emerging Female System in a White Male Society, explains the condition of women within a dominant white male society Schaef defines this white male system as, “the system in which we live, and in it, the power and influence are held by white males” (1992: 8). However, this system is not completely real because it is only the product of the powerful white male people. Not all white males are members of this system nor do they share in the power of dominance that most people associate with being a white male.

The dominant white males’ society is supported by four myths. The first myth is that the white male system is the only thing that exists (Schaef. 1992:14). It implies that the others are nothing and have little value on influence within society. Because of this myth, everything should be seen as the white male system sees it. If females, for example, are doing something that is not same as the white male system’s perception, they will be considered crazy, stupid, and ugly (Schaef 1992:14).

The second myth is that the white male system is innately superior (Schaef 1992:15). In the white male system, everybody is born either male or female and innate in that is a value in the larger culture. The white male system believes that innate superiority is the birthright of males and, thus, to be born female is to be born second-class. Thus, females who play their roles are inferior, and females who subvert their roles in the white male system are characterized as “bitches” or otherwise devalued (Schaef 1992:16).

The third myth is that the white male system knows and understands everything (Schaef 1992:16). Because the white male system claims to know everything, it thinks that it can have power over everything, including females. Consequently, everything in the white female system should be in the white male system’s control, since other systems outside the white male system are seen as inferior for not knowing and understanding anything.

The fourth myth is that the white male system is totally logical, rational, and objective (Schaef 1992:17). The effect of these myths is that the members of this system never want to hear opinions from others because others are illogical, irrational, and subjective. Females also cannot decide anything since in the white male system’s myth, females are irrational, illogical, and subjective. Thus, all of women’s decisions must be based on the white male system. From myth to reality, the system of the white male has many parts.

Females are influenced by the white male system, which affects women entire lives. Much of women’s lives depends on what the white male system constructs for them. Because females are controlled by the white male system, everything has to be in accordance with what the white male system prescribes as the role of the female. The white male system uses many techniques to dominate and control females.
Schaef (1992: 73) described what she called stoppers, a number of techniques used to keep women under control of the white male system. Stoppers appear in many various forms like rape, battering, and some other physical violence. Others seem to be more subtle ways, for instance, offensively telling to women they are not rational, sick, bad, crazy, and stupid (1992:73). When women’s opinion is not able to be accepted, they will feel that there is something wrong with them, and their confidence is gone. As a result, women are going to agree with what the white male system says because they do not want to be accused of being crazy, stupid, and ugly (Schaef. 1992: 74). Many women do not realize that stoppers are mere methods to make them back off from their perceptions, and return to the white male system’s ways. Women fear that stoppers are accurate, and they are stopped by them.

Actually, the male system of dominance described by Schaef has broader implication than just white male societies. Patriarchy occurs not only among white people but also among people of color, such as in Indonesia. Indonesia is a country that still keeps patriarchal culture and traditions, so Indonesian males dominate the economic, social and political systems in Indonesia. In this paper, I compare the dominant male systems in white cultures and the dominant male system of Indonesia, explaining the implications for women worldwide, and particularly examining Indonesian women.

THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE

According to Schaef, a goal in women’s lives is to achieve perfect marriage. Almost every woman wants to live together with her “soul mate.” Women feel that happiness can be achieved if they can pour their love for somebody they truly loved (1992:64). Therefore, women will sacrifice anything to achieve the perfect marriage.

In the white male system, the perfect marriage has two parts: public and private (Schaef 1992:64). The public perfect marriage is the relationship between a woman and a man in the public sphere or outside house. In this sphere, the man acts as the women’s parent while the woman is like the child who has to follow what the man says, whether she agrees or not (Schaef 1992:65). For example, when the couple goes to a family gathering, the woman cannot contradict what the man says, because in this area, the woman is the man’s child. If the woman does not follow this rule, the public perfect marriage will break.

Another aspect of the perfect marriage is the private perfect marriage. Unlike the public perfect marriage, in the private perfect marriage or behind closed doors, the woman is the parent of a man. Everything should be in her control (Schaef 1992:66).Which clothes the man is going to wear is arranged by the woman, for instance. If in this case, the man breaks the rule and helps his wife to prepare his clothes or takes some other household responsibility away from the woman, the private perfect marriage is shattered.

Marriage is also a main goal for Indonesian women. Indonesian males, in this male dominated system, believe that women are something to be bought or sold, and marriage and the price paid is an indication of the value of a women. From this, we can understand that in Indonesian women’s perception, widow is more valuable than somebody who has not married yet, because being a widow indicates that the woman has already accomplished her goal. It means that the woman has been validated by marriage. Thus, Indonesian women will sacrifice anything, such as education and career so that they can have a marriage.

Several weeks ago, for example, my girlfriend told me that she received a scholarship to continue her study abroad. I knew that studying abroad was her dream since she became my classmate as an undergraduate. On the other hand, she already planned to marry this year. Although she is still wishful about her scholarship, she decided to resign it and get married instead. In her opinion, she won’t become anything if she does not marry.

The concept of marriage also influences most parents’ thinking in Indonesia. In their opinion, marriage is more important for their daughters than education. Therefore, it is a common situation that many teenage girls drop out from senior high schools for marriage. Dramatically, in many traditional areas, to make sure that their daughters will marry, most parents arrange marriages for their daughters. My cousin told me that her parents already arranged her marriage when she was still in her mother’s womb. Then, she got married after she graduated from her junior high school.

As in the white male system, the dominant male system in Indonesia believes the two faces of the perfect marriage, public and private. To illustrate, in private areas, everything is held by a woman, so when the man helps his wife to decide on everything that the women must do, in people’s perception, the private perfect marriage is failing. For instance, my male neighbor was surprised when he visited my house, and he found that my husband prepared dinner for us. He thought that there was something wrong with my household because in private area, the man is the child of a woman. On the other hand, in the public perfect marriage, the man controls everything. If a household does not apply this rule, it means that a household is not a perfect marriage. I could understand when the teller in bank had difficulty accepting that my husband opened an account in the bank with my name because in people’s perception, only a man can deal with money, so the teller thought that my marriage was not a perfect marriage.

From that information, we can figure out that the reality of marriage in the male dominated system of the United States and in the Indonesian dominant system is same. In my opinion, the concept of marriage puts women in a subordinate position. Since the male dominant system says that the value of a woman is her life in the home and subordination to her husband in marriage, women tend to focus on this goal and forsake opportunities to develop themselves. Even though, the private perfect married women are parents of men in the home, they still serve men and do so by publicly subordinating themselves. As house workers, women have to prepare everything for their husbands. In this case men are bosses, and women are the unpaid laborers that make their for profit labor possible. The public perfect marriage also ties women economically to the success of their men in the public sphere. Women cannot decide anything because in this area women are subservient to their husbands.

THE CONCEPT OF MOTHERHOOD

Schaef explained that in the dominant white male system, to be a valid human being, women have to have children (1992: 86). If women cannot give birth, they do not have value. Women are not able to choose whether they will or won’t have children. In this case, they lose their basic right to choose to conceive and raise a child or not.

The concept of motherhood also influences the relationships between mother and children. Schaef remarked there are four basic levels of mothers relating to sons and daughters. The first is the innate condition. For sons, mothers teach that superiority is part of the male birthright (1992:84). Unlike with sons, mothers tells their daughters that they are inferior (1992:86). The second basic level is the class issue. Mothers give different treatment to sons and daughters. In the class issue, mothers instill in sons that they have power to control and oppress others. In this case, mothers are in positions of inferiority. Although the mother has given birth to her son, she also will be under his control because her son is a member of the male dominant system (1992:85). However for her daughter, the mother teaches differently. Schaef said, “The second level is extremely important and has to do with the fact that women recognize one another as members of the same oppressed class” (1992:87). Mother is going to share her suffering condition with her daughter.

Ambition is the third basic level of relationship between mother and children. Because mother wants her son to be a powerful man, she pushes her son to explore everything. On the other hand, mother realizes that she cannot accompany her son since this opportunity is only available for men (Schaef 1992:85). For daughters, mother is ambiguous. Mother wishes that her daughter becomes an educated person, and that her daughter will have better life than she has. However, mother also says that her daughter has to follow the culture as she has already done by getting married, having children, and being a house worker (Schaef. 1992: 89). This condition, of course, will tie daughters and make it difficult for them to develop themselves.
The last basic level is the power to validate, or as Schaef called it the “I hate your guts” (1992: 86). In this level, women must bear children as the way for them to be valid human beings. In addition, having a boy is more valuable than having a girl, so women always want to have a boy. This condition affects the relationship between mothers and sons. Although mother loves her children so much, she hates her children’s guts, because of their power over her, and because of fact that they can validate of her existence. Schaef said, “We love our children, but we hate what they stand for” (1992: 86). Even though having a girl is better than none, a girl, in the dominant system, is not the offspring that is hoped. Therefore, mother hates her daughter’s gut because her gut cannot help mother to uphold her existence in the culture. “Yet she resents the fact that another being has the power to validate her-especially if that being is not only tiny but innately inferior,” Schaef wrote in her book (1992: 89).

As in the dominant white male system, in the dominant Indonesian system, we have the concept of motherhood too. In the Indonesian system of male dominance, women have to have children. The result is that women attempt to do anything to become mothers. Indeed, it has been taught since females are young as a rite of passage and a fulfillment of duty. A woman who obeys her husband’s commandment and always serves her children is cited to be the standard by which successful woman are measured. This, however, is not without its problems.

The concept of motherhood in the Indonesian male dominant system affected me personally. After graduating from a senior high school, I wanted to apply for a bachelor’s degree. However, at the time, my father gave me a stipulation. If I was going to continue my study, I had to marry. As other parents, my parents also thought that I could study after I have a child. The concept of mother had influenced my parents’ opinion. They wanted me to fill the role of the ideal successful women and were doing their best to help me. Actually, my mother wishes that I could get better life by continuing my study; on the other hand, my mother supported me getting married. However, my parents were thinking within a male dominated social paradigm.

I remember one day I accompanied my girlfriend who gave birth to a beautiful daughter. Although she and her daughter were healthy, her husband was still disappointed because his wife did not give him a boy. In another case, when my first child – a boy- was born, I received a different comment. Actually, everybody gave me congratulations. My female neighbor also said, “If you have a boy in your first born, you won’t get much pain if your second born is a girl. Giving birth for a boy is more difficult and painful than for a girl.” From this, I can understand that in the Indonesian dominant system, having a boy is more valuable.

Being a perfect mother in Indonesia is another major concept of “mother.” The dominant system indoctrinates woman that they are to always be present for their kids. Therefore, a good mother is a woman who pours her life to serve her kids. It means that all of the mothers’ activities must be around their children, and they must forget their dreams so they can always accompany their kids. A man wants a wife who can stay in the whole day with his kids, while he is out on the town with his friends or working.

My friend dubs me “an insurgent mother.” Usually the name “insurgent” is given to children who disregard to their duty to their parents. However, she thinks that I am an insurgent mother because I decided to continue my study in Hawaii and left my sons in Indonesia. In her opinion, I denied my responsibility to my sons and abandoned my culture. This opinion lives not only in my friend’s mind but also in almost all Indonesian people’s minds due to culturally defined roles and expectations. One of my male friends said that I am an egoist mother because I left my sons without thinking about consequences to them. Moreover, he mentioned that he would not marry a woman like me, who only think about herself, and does not care for her kids.

To be honest, the first time I heard that I felt guilty and I agreed with him that I am not a good mother. At the time, I thought I already made a mistake with my decision to continue my studies. Even though I believed that my sons are living in a good place with their grandparents, and I knew that developing myself is the same as developing my family, I felt I could not provide for my sons well enough. Guilt almost became a stopper for my future.

Indonesian males want their wives to be good mothers for two good reasons. First, they are afraid that if their wives either continue their education or participate in outside activities, they will become more intelligent, and Indonesian males will lose their control of their wives. An educated wife can become a threat to their husband’s authority. To illustrate, when a man has an educated wife, it is difficult to arrange everything as he wants because an educated wife usually is more opinionated and may have a better idea than her husband. Second, the concept of the “good mother” keeps women in their position, as Indonesian males want women to be. If women are not in the category of good mother, they will feel guilt and cultural shaming. Because of that, many are women left behind in the home.

From that information, we can see that the concept of motherhood in the dominant white male system and in the Indonesian dominant system is not different. Having children in both dominant systems is the existence of women. In this case, women do not have choice because in both of the dominant systems, women have to have children. The existence and value of women is much influenced by whether they have children or not. In the dominant system, the existence of women is validated after they have a boy. In addition, the relationship between mother and daughter also has two faces. Mother pushes her daughter to achieve a good life, but at the same time, mother asks her daughter to follow the culture as mother did. In the dominant Indonesian system, to be a good mother has also become a stopper for women because women are tied to

CONCLUSION

Men prosper from dominant male systems both in white society and in Indonesia. In fact, the concept of marriage in both male dominated systems is the same, and the implication of the concept of marriage puts women in the inferior place. Women are always pushed to focus their main goal in life on achieving the “perfect” marriage, so they do not have opportunity to achieve career or political success. In “perfect” marriages, women are publically subservient to their children and their husbands. Women cannot develop themselves because this concept goes against the socially prescribed roles of what it means to be a good woman. Thus, whatever the color of women is and wherever women live, they are to treated as inferiors and merely the biological carriers of males who will continue to dominate society. In addition, men support their own dominance and continue to perpetuate cultural myths that validate the disparity of power in

POLYGAMY

“Why should I call grand mother of my mother for two women?” the question always came out from my mind when I was a kid. At the time, my mother had explained that her father had two wives, which we call polygamy. The word “polygamy” has its root in Greek. According to encyclopedia Wikipedia, historically, it may have two meanings that are both polygyny (one man having more than one wife), and polyandry (one women having more than one husband). Nevertheless, the term polygamy is commonly used to refer to one man having more than one wife. In fact, it exits as a custom in the community or society instead of people irrelevant of countries, religions, and cultures around the world. Although it is not a new phenomenon, recently polygamy has been getting much attention, and even it is being dispute. For example, Indonesian government has already created a draft of law to arrange rules regarding polygamy. Indeed. Some people in Utah, United States, which under religion reason have done a demonstration to force legalization on polygamy.

Although, I have already known the reality of polygamy, until now I still have difficulty to accept the concept of polygamy to be a reality. For me, I cannot figure out how one husband can live with many wives. In my opinion, polygamy is a kind of the psychological violence against women. Besides, polygamy bears much bad effects to children of polygamist family. Could you image, if one father has many children from many wives? Of course, he is not able to taking care of them.
There are many reasons of people supporting polygamy. One of the reasons is following Prophet Muhammad’s tradition. For Moslem, Muhammad is a perfect figure, and every single Moslem has to behave as Muhammad had done. In fact, Muhammad was a polygamist, so many Moslems argue that they are polygamists because they want to be good Muhammad’s followers.

Actually, Muhammad was being a polygamist only to help widows. At the time, many Moslem troops died in the war, so their wives became widows, and many children did not have father. Because of this reason, Muhammad married them. In fact, only one of Muhammad’s wives was still young, and the others were old widows. It means that Muhammad gave good principles of it. The first principle is that polygamy has to be used to helping widows and orphans. Second, sexuality could not be used to support polygamy. However, in reality, nowadays men married a second wife who is younger than a first wife is, and she is not a widow. Thus, by pretending to follow Muhammad’s tradition, they can hide the sexuality that is they central motivation.

Another reason of supporting polygamy is the condition of women population. In fact, the population of women is higher than men. In polygamists’ opinion, they should help to balance the population of women and men with practicing polygamy. Evidently, as Indonesia, only above thirty years old, the population of women is higher, and below thirty years old, the population of both women and men is same. Thus, if the population is to be a reason, men should marry with a woman who is above thirty year old. However, commonly a man is practicing polygamy with a young woman. Unquestionably, using population to be a reason to support polygamy is only to hide the main reason that is sexuality.

Finally, although a number of polygamists always use many reasons to support them such as following Muhammad’s tradition, and the population of women, sexuality is the main reason of polygamy.

My Angels

My little angels, I do not know what I should say.
I just want to tell you that MAMA really misses you.

I miss many moments with you. When mama departed to Hawaii, you still could speak "Mama and Babah", but now you know sing, and you can communicate with others. Oh my God, in your special moments I can not accompany you.

Although I cannot touch you
I cannot kiss you
I cannot accompany you to sing
I cannot teach you
I cannot give you as you want

I am still in here
I am still your Mom

Come on Baby
Let look world with mama
Let look your future with smile

I love you
God will guide your steps

I am always beside you with my pray.

Welcome Spring Semester

WELCOME SPRING SEMESTER
WELCOME MY ACTIVITIES

I know tomorrow will be different cause tomorrow I'll start my classes in UH. I'll be busy. It is not easy for me, I should adapt with my regular classes, but I cannot give up.

I remember when I was to be listener in regular class; I could not talk anything since I was nervous. Almost of my classmates were native, so they spoke fluent, and sometimes I did not understand what they were talking about. To be honest, it made me unconfident. With Look at this experience, I hope I can survive and follow my classes in the future.

God, Help me please

HAPPY

HAPPY IED-ADHA
IED MUBAROK

AND


HAPPY NEW YEAR

GOOD BLESS YOU

What is wrong with Obama?

Do you know Barach Hussein Obama? He is going to be a new senator in US from Illinois. So, what is special about him? Actually, nothing special about him is if he is not a Moslem. Therefore, everything will go special because he is only one senator who is a Moslem.

Obama was born in racial level. His father was from Kenya, and his mother was a white American. He spent part of his youth in Indonesia before returning to Hawaii where he was born.

To be honest, I did not really understand about his problem and senator, I only heard that US senators are still debating about him. Basically, the debate is coming out from two causes. First, his name looks like Osama whom is the first terrorist target that is sought by US. The second reason is in US senator if somebody will be raised to be a senator; he or she has to take his/her oath under holy book. Due to this, it means that Koran will be come in US senator building.

Evidently, Obama is a great politician. He already did great jobs when he was in Illinois statehouse. According to Rose Brooks’s article in The Honolulu Advertiser, Obama is a good leader. Thus, why is not Obama to be a US senator?

In this case, I believe that US is still racial country not only in religion but also in race. In my opinion, I know that US culture basics on Bible. However, we cannot generally assume that the US government is Christian owner. Undoubted, US residents are not only Christians but also from many religions. Although Christians are the biggest population in US, but it does not mean that government can pressure their residents to be Christen followers.

Like black Americans, Moslems are also seen to be second level. I listened, for instance, to the radio two weeks ago. A Moslem woman who wears veil was required to take off her veil by her boss because her boss was not comfortable talking with her without looking at her face. Of course, we could not support her boss because wearing veil is her deal with God not with her boss. Moreover, everybody should respect with her decision.

This condition extremely is different from US jargon “Democracy country.” Democracy means that everybody is given good respect, and the government offers his or her rights. So, what is democracy for US government? I think US government should commit with their principle to keep democracy.

In Obama case, in my eyes, US should decide which one the best thing for them either allow Koran coming in senator building or no Holy Books anymore in senator building.

PS: This is not a great writing. It is only about my nervousness. In addition, I just want to pour my thinking in writing.

Alhamdulillah

Yesterday I had taken ELI placement test. The English Language Institute (ELI) is a part of the internationally renowned Department of Second Language Studies at the University of Hawaii. The primary purpose of the ELI is to provide English instruction for international and immigrant students who have been admitted to the university and who do not speak English as a native language, in order to facilitate their academic studies. Thus, ELI is only for unclassified UH students.

I took ELI placement test because from this test, I could know my ability, and the result of ELI test could be used to assume how many score in TOEFL. Since if I take Toefl, the result will be released four weeks after test, on the other hand, I should submit my application as soon as possible. Unlike toefl, ELI result could be known a few minutes after test.

Kim Small who is my scholarship coordinator told me that if my score in ELI is similar to a high score in Toefl (same as required from my major), I could be used ELI score to apply in my major. This test is a big deal for me because I did not have big expectation from iBT. In fact, iBT is more complicated than ELI is.

I only have three days to prepare ELI test after Kim Small told me on last Tuesday. To be honest, I was not ready to face this test, but I did not have choice, so I should take it.

ELI test has three section that are writing, listening and reading. In writing, we are given 45 minutes to complete one essay, and the topic of essay we could choose one of two topics, which are talking about global issues and a political change. Besides, I chose global issues especially women problems. Then, in the listening, we should do two parts. First thing is dictation, and second is academic listening with long conversation. The last is reading. Like listening, reading has two parts. In the first time, I should answer gab-filling, than reading comprehension test.

After I done all of sections, I only needed ten minutes to accept my result. Swear when I was seating in front of ELI director (Kenton), I am nervous. He appeared smile, but I didn’t want to guess what the meaning from his smile was because I know that American's characters always keep smile whatever they will say bad or good news. Finally, he said, “Nihayatul, I bring good news for you." Of course, I asked him soon, "What is it?” With smile he said, "Your score can be used to apply in UH." ALHAMDULILLAH. Finally, I got it.

Although I can follow my class in spring semester, it is not the end of the war. The real war is when I study in class, so for me, it is the first step to entry in more difficult situation. Readings, homework, and many other assignments have ready in my future days.

Bismillah. I hope I can surmount anything will come.

Thank for your support friends. I love you

My Motivation

Motivation, for me, is a big deal because from it I can keep my spirit. For example, my motivation is to study abroad, and to achieve that I should learn English.

Frankly, 70 % of my motivation comes from myself, and only 30 % from my family and my friends. To illustrate, last week, when I knew that my score was still not high enough to apply at UH, my family and my friends were crying for me since I might have to go home. However I am still struggling to negotiate about my funding. As a result, they give me three options. First, they gave me one opportunity to take an iBT test again on November 17. If my score is enough, I can join at UH in the spring semester. Second, if my score is still low, they will give me a chance to continue in language training, and I will take a class in the fall semester. The last option is if until fall semester my score cannot be used to apply at UH, I must bring my suitcase to Indonesia .

I know my situation is not easy, but I believe that it is too early to give up. Moreover, I always keep positive thinking that my funding chose me because I never give up.

In short, this story can give a lesson that my intrinsic motivation is more than my extrinsic motivation because I am still brave to achieve my goals.

Second Language class in HELP 2006

Krashen

I do not know what I want to talk about concerning Krashen because I have bad memorize. I remember when I studied in junior school, I loved English very much, but I could never speak to English language. I only liked how I could analyze grammar. Actually, I really wanted to speak English, but I known my teacher did not know how to speak English either.

Some of my friends hated English. In their opinion, English was very difficult, I was aware about it, and I thought this problem was caused by teacher. Could you imagine, in the first time, my teacher taught 16 tenses, and he gave me homework to memorize all of the tenses. It was so bad. We only knew about 16 tenses; on the other hand, we never understood how to use them.

Basically, I agree that language is a habit, so for me Krashen’s theory is a good way to begin learning languages. In my perspective, knowing grammar is essential too. Krashen’s theories, however, are more important. Maybe, the good way is we can combine both, or we can study both together.

In short, improving English can be done with Krashen’s theories and study grammar too.


Second language class in HELP 2006

My Preferences

To be honest, before I got scholarships from the Ford Foundation, I never cared about English. In fact, my GPA in the college English class was C. I did not know why I did not care. Actually, when I studied in junior school, I loved English very much. However, after that, my parents sent me to Islamic Boarding School, I never learned English there. Every day I only used Arabic language.

I love writing. Every time I have free time, I always write articles. Until now almost every month my articles have been published by a newspaper in my country. Because of this hobby, in learning English, I prefer to develop myself by writing.

I think when I write, I can get some benefit. First of all, I can improve my vocabulary. Second, in writing, I will be able to correct my grammar. I also feel I am supported to look for many ideas. Of course, to search ideas I should read a lot of books, journals, and newspapers.

Obviously, writing can push me to many good things. On the other hand, listening is also important. I am aware that my listening is poor since I only spend my time writing. Thus, I decide to divide my time not only writing but also listening.

Second language class in HELP 2006

Myths

I will talk about question number one. In my opinion, kids do not need to learn second language because the important thing for kids is how to talk, it does not matter what the language is.

I remember when my son was two or three years old, my husband and I taught him Arabic language and sometimes English language too, but it was not effective because he studied in public school where either Arabic or English are never used. His friends, also, only used Indonesia and Jawa languages. Since we wanted him to learn other languages, my husband and I decided to only use one language.

Another example is when we lived in East Jawa province. Of course, we were always using Jawa Language. On the other hand, my husband did not use Jawa language well because he is a maduress, people from a different island and a different language too. My husband could only chat with my son by Indonesian language. Indeed, I thought that I wanted my son talking with his mother language since in my mother language we have diversity levels. To illustrate, chatting with elders is a different style then if we chat with those from a similar generation. In addition, in my culture giving good respect for the older generation through language is very important. Obviously, when my son entrers into school, he could speak Indonesian naturally. In short, my husband agreed to follow my opinion.

Second Language Class HELP 2006

Bismillah

Finally, I've already taken iBT text for the second time. To be honest, I could not guess my score. In fact, I need a high score. However, I did not want to be pressured by it. I only keep in my mind that I have already done the best thing that I could do.

I believe God always knows what I want in my life; also, God certainly gives me good things, so I do not worry about my result.

God, I can still be smile because I know You always accompany me, and your light gives me guideline where the right way is.

Alhamdulillah

For Hilma

This letter is for my sister Hilma. She wrote a perfect novel, and her novel was published by Matapena Jogjakarta. She asked me to give my opinion about her novel.

Assalamu'alaikum

Aloha

How are you doing? I hope everything is going ok. In Hawaii, despite not easy I still survive.

I am proud of you. Although I lived so far from Jogjakarta, I still read your novel. When I read yours, I felt so bad because I remember my stories, yach.. Your story looked like mine.

Frankly, your story was perfect, but I found in many passages you were writing too dramatic. For example, when the central actor (Mulan, right?) came in Banyuwangi, her boy friend pulled her hand. I thought it was too much because her boy friend was a GUS, so he won’t do a wrong thing. I mean that he was too brave. As far as my experience, a Gus, also a Neng, never do something wrong in front of his/her family such as touch other women.

Another case, when you told about her second boyfriend, you told too much, in this case, you almost forgot the central actor. To be honest, I only skim when I read about his story. I thought I didn’t need to read it.

Nevertheless, your story was perfect, you should keep writing. From writing, you can get some benefit in the future. Do you know, until now, every month I am still sending my article to Radar Banyuwangi. I am aware that Radar is not a famous newspaper, but I just want to pour in my desire because writing is one part of my bodies. If I am not writing, maybe I will collapse. To illustrate, I took two writing classes in my univ. I write too much, as a result, my other skills as listening and reading lose, so I should manage my times hehehe. In fact, writing makes my life more interesting. Thus, keep writing and never give up.

I hope I can read your novel in the future soon. Sorry, if my writing in English is still bad, I just keep trying to use English hehhehehehe.

Mahalo

Wassalam

Yacht...

Sometimes I feel tired, and I want to give up. Studying in abroad is very hard, and everything is unpredictable.

I thought that I never have problems in my study. When I studied in the college, I could finish my study only three and half years; also I became the quickest student in my college. Moreover, my thesis in college was published by Pusat Study Wanita (PSW) IAIN Sunan Kalijaga. Thus, everything was perfect.

However, I am getting many problem in Hawaii. When I was departing to Hawaii, my TOEFL score was still low, so Fond Foundation gave me six month to improve my skill before I join in sociology department. I took three exams in here, and all of them was still not enough to registration in Sociology. I felt so bad. I think and cry a lot.

Actually, I have already negotiated with EWC and IIEF, and they were giving three option. First of all, if my score on November 17 is enough, I can become unclassified student in sociology program. Then, if my score is low, I can continue in language training and intake class in fall semester. The last thing is if until fall semester my score cannot be used to registration, I must go home.

Frankly, three options made me glad. Nevertheless, I am still worried. My exam will come up tomorrow, but I am not sure about my preparation. I just keep positive thinking.

Totally I agree with my friend. He told that we should share job with Allah. Our job is studying hard, and the result is Allah's job. It means that I should not worry because Allah will give a good thing for me, and God will make everything possible. I believe that.

Keep praying and never give up